Forces of Nature

I used to have one of those cheesy signs in my bathroom that said, “don’t limit your challenges, challenge your limits.” It wasn’t of superior quality, in fact, I may have picked it up at dollar tree as a way to spruce up a bathroom wall I was otherwise not very in love with, recently I repainted and that sign or something equivalent won’t be going back up in that room, why you say?

The older I get the more I realize the kind of person I am, oh that can’t be done? Just watch! Too much on my plate? Nah I can totally work full time, be an amazing attentive mother while simultaneously keeping up with a rigorous workout schedule, renovate my house, cook all meals from scratch, have a Pinterest worthy yard and garden, a well trained dog, and possibly fix like 6 other things all at once, also no I’m fine I don’t need any help thank you very much.

In short, I’ve crashed a lot over the years. I realize I can’t do it all, all the time. I also realized I get bored with things quickly, I enjoy keeping things different and exciting and if the project is reasonably sized for me I can totally achieve it, I just might need a break from that particular thing for a minute afterward, having recently started to read the book “How To Be Everything” by Emilie Wapnick I’ve learned that I’m not alone in being an adult that still struggles with my direction. Ways to use it to my advantage, although it might not please our parents I think being true to yourself is the best thing you can do.

Frugal Single Mom Time Savers.

 

I recently read an article about ways to save time, this post was basically a list of advertisements for various companies that help you save time, but at what cost? Although saving time is a wonderful thing, if that time-saving benefit would put you over on a tight budget, where would the value be?
here I’ve comprised a list of things that would help you save time, and also money.

Work with friends. (who needs hired nannies?)

I’m not sure about you, but I can get about 375% more things done when I am childless than when I have my kiddo around. and I want to have quality time with him when I have him. Find another parent and do time swaps, one of you goes to the park or something while the other one gets her things done, swap the next week. You will get so much done, and be able to actually enjoy your child/ren when you have them.

time saved: 2 to 3 hours
money saved: 20 to 50 a week

Make easy meals (who needs overpriced under portioned meal services?)

Meal delivery services are a wonderful thing, heck it would totally rock on weekends, but weekdays are a whole other gambit. Yeah that well-intentioned meal you have waiting to be made in the fridge would be wonderful, but what’s the point if you feel too tired to make it when you’re heading home and instead just go through a fast food place on the way home? Give yourself a little kindness and either throw something in the crockpot on busy weekdays or plan something so fast easy and delicious it will push you home instead of through that favorite restaurant. You save time and money.

time saved: 2 to 3 hours
Money saved: 50 a week

Grocery store pickup (who needs them delivered?)

We are lucky to actually have someplace in town that delivers to your door for free if you spend over $100, however, their prices on basically everything are so inflated that if you are actually hitting $100
you have easily spent well over the average $8 delivery fee for other stores. Make your grocery pickup part of your pickup loop and you’ll be in the car already. Then you can head home knowing you have everything you need and avoid dragging kiddos into the store. We all know kids in the store means a longer pricier less successful trip through grocery land.

time saved versus shopping: 1 to 2 hours
money saved versus shopping with kids: 20 to 50

Get enough sleep and water. (because why not?)
You are way more effective and feel better if you are hydrated and well rested, pack those kids off to bed on time, relax and let the laundry pile wait. Get to bed at a decent hour and within a few days/weeks you will wonder how you ever survived before now with how much better you feel, how much less you need to spend on unneeded thing, and how much more you can get done in your free time.

time saved moping: 7 to 10 hours
money saved: 40 to 50

The lotto ticket

What to do when you don’t know what you want to do with your life.

I think one of the best ways to feel that sense of wonder and life zest it to visualize so well that you bottle taste it, I think most things I’ve successfully accomplished in my life I had unknowingly been visualizing for a long time, if you ever feel lost in your life with no certain path you want to take, one great way to help you find the path you want to take is to truly find that strong visual that will get you there, if some searching on Pinterest isn’t helping you, try to lotto ticket dream, seriously, go buy a lotto ticket, with at least several days to think about it before the drawing,

Write about it.

Whats that new life going to look like, are you going to go on vacations, where to? find a dream home style or even dream home you love on Zillow, find your new wardrobe at a favorite online store, decide what you’re going to fund with the donate to charity section of your earnings, what investments look soundest, what are you going to do with all that free time? how you’re going to handle/help those around you, how you want your kids to be raised. be detailed and thorough seriously you’ll have that money in a few days, you need to know what you want that life to look like.

Win the lottery.

OMG seriously that’s so freaking awesome, I’m so happy for you, now since you had that whole plan in mind you can go live those amazing dreams and do all those incredible things. and if you wanted to support this blog post with a little chunk of change that would be great, if not totally fine, I’m always just here to help!

Don’t win the lottery

Girl I know, I’m bummed too, that Chick up there is living it up while I’m telling my kid we need to save up for a new game for his switch. but before you get all sad, that was just an exercise in visualization, one that believe it or not that piece of paper you filled out wasn’t useless, although possibly on a slightly less grand scale, you can have that life, remember what you wanted your house to look like? you can take your surroundings and use color themes and level of stuff per room and scale it to what you have now, remember what you wanted to do? what would you do even if you didn’t have to work another day in your life? that right there is your true calling, find out how to make money doing that and the stress of working will leave you in no time, remember how you were going to save your money? guess what, put your money you have now into those things. a step closer to the retirement of the century right there, and making it to a good retirement is basically winning the lottery. take that blueprint and those feelings of excitement and make your life as close to that lotto dream as possible, then put that ticket somewhere that will remind you that you can don’t really need it to live your dream and move forward to your best life.

 

Just Musing in the rain.

An update from the Homefront

The skies opened up and have been unleashing a crazy amount of rain on my hometown, our local football team had to cancel a much anticipated their opening game with our new coach, all sorts of power was out across town reeking havoc with drivers not having streetlights, but luckily it’s a new raining day this time sans crazy nightlight lightning strikes and everyone has put on their brave faces and are trying to enjoy their long weekends.

My father who has been staying with me has finished helping repair my garage so now it’s my turn to organize the shelving and paint the front and start working on the much-needed improvements to the landscaping.

5 steps to succeed at anything

1. It’s all in your head.

Literally, unless you are injured the things holding you back are in your mindset way more than your reality, we live in a time where anyone can achieve anything, and you are just as capable of hitting your goals as anyone else, so if you keep finding yourself floundering, maybe take a minute to write down all the things that are holding you back, where are those words coming from? an old bitter relative, an old boss? forgive them for those words and move on, you are going to achieve great things today, tomorrow and the next day. you are on the track to success, you are not those people who let themselves get stuck, and as soon as you let yourself live in that success mindset, surrounding yourself in that joy-filled success, you will see how fast you can achieve great things.

2. You can’t give someone water from an empty cup.

You’ve probably heard this advice about a million times, and until I actually started taking it I thought for sure I would be able to keep giving and giving and just somehow find for strength from somewhere, this started the endless cycle of trying to be super me, do it all until I would burn out and fall on my face winding up sick with a home being quickly destroyed by my young child.
Seriously, don’t do that! make sure you take a minute at least several times a day to truly fill your cup, and not just looking at Facebook at all the posts about people who are more successful at what you’re trying to achieve, fill your cup with motivating words and expressing yourself in some way that fills your heart with joy. I promise you’ll know when you get there because your heart will literally be abuzz with happiness and in that state filling another with that joy will only add to your cup while filling someone’s cup when you’re dry will only leave you more empty and tired.

3. Build your confidence up with simple tasks and promises.

Saying you will run a marathon next month when you get winded getting the mail is something you can do, if you want to weaken your confidence and fall straight into a pity party, saying you will walk around the block every day and add a block every day will have you walking around your neighborhood meeting new friends and building some awesome muscles and cardiovascular health in no time, and before you know it you’ll be running those 5Ks and 10Ks and hitting those goals with ease. it’s those building blocks of confidence that happen as you hit small goals that help you hit those big ones, make sure you celebrate those milestones.

4. Commitments aren’t just for when you feel like it them.

Too much in our society, we let our feelings and desires outweigh the plans we made, later regretting our decision to quit on something when we would have met our goal if we had stuck through those tough moments. Many goals in your life will take more than the short bursts of time that you’ve successfully done in the past, a good way to finish a goal you really want is to take that crazy amazing burst of energy that inspires a project and write out a foolproof method to get there even if you might not feel like it at that moment, and remind yourself that when that moment comes what you need to do will be worth it.

5. Use tough moments as a time to shine instead of fleeing.

I think we have all thrown in the towel at one point or another, but researching the greats shows time and again some of the most incredible people in history faced crazy challenges and adversity, they managed to turn that pressure around and became a diamond instead of powdered coal and you can too. When a season of change happens in your life, give yourself grace and to those around you and remember that if you follow through on this moment, the results will be so worth it. Recharge by reading about others that made it through similar situations, visual yourself at the other side of this challange, talk to a friend who can give you an ear to vent to and in the words of our favorite little blue tang, “just keep swimming.”

following through on steps will put you into a new and better place, sticking with these steps will help you move that mountain. I hope to see you there.

What I do

When I first decided to become a hairdresser, I was in the middle of my year off between high school and deciding what I wanted to do with my life, my dearest friend who happened to basically live with me on the weekends was over and I was styling her hair before her class where she was about to see a man she had a crush on for about the third week in a row, long story short, no my hairdressing skills didn’t end up landing her that Doctor husband. however what that time did do for me was deciding that seeing those instant results and making someone happy while doing an artsy skill that people get paid for wasn’t such a bad idea.
A quick search of the internet taught me that in my area I could have a degree in as little as 14 months and be on my way to a high flying career, I knew even walking in that I wanted to do men’s hair, however the counselor persuaded me to go to my cosmetology license first then move on to barbering, one mistake that I would like to fix however bygones are bygones.
Anyone that says cosmetology school is easy hasn’t realized the crazy hours they put you through, or the struggle to make 4 rows of perfect finger waves on a nearly balding mannequin using the slimiest goey blue hair gel ever invented that happens to be sold by the bucket. don’t get me started on the backcombing, but like many others I made it! And much like most school haven’t had a single need to do a pin curl or finger wave again.
reaching the real world, I decided to work in an all men’s salon, because frankly it’s what I had wanted to do anyway, and have spent the past 8 and a half years perfecting my haircutting skills, watching boys grow up, men get married and have children, older men retire and find new avenues to spend their free time in. it’s an amazing world seeing this group of men change and evolve.
sometimes you have amazing days, like getting to cut a child’s hair who didn’t even exist when you first met their parents. other days are hard, like when you have someone who weighs about 62 pounds in your chair that tells you this will probably be their last haircut since cancer has spread too much and their days are numbered. other days are hard because of the sheer workload that happens before major events or holidays. but the smile on someones face when you get it right when they are happy and you managed to bring their vision to reality has to be one of the best feelings in the world.
although there are many things I like about being a stylist, I think the one I enjoy the most is just the sheer differences you get to see, how people are all so different and yet all so similar, we are all motivated by some form of self-preservation for ourselves and our families and yet, we all come to such drastically different conclusions on the best way to go about making our worlds true for ourselves.
getting to put on an different pair of shoes for a while several times a day has really taught me not to be too quick to judge, because frankly, I’ve heard stories from people about what lead to the thing they did that although I might have judged that situation before, I really can’t argue with their logic, and maybe if everyone got a chance to see the world from a different perspective every now and then, people might start to see why we really are all the same.

Opals

Shifts
one of the things I’m sure anyone who has aged at all might notice is how ones favorite things can slowly change, even something you once thought you hated can become your favorite thing.

As a child I found myself quickly having a strong need to label and input things, I like catagories, order, collections of something small like 47 keychains, none of which ever saw the light of day.

another thing I found interesting to catagorize was myself; horoscopes, chinese calender horoscopes, birth order tendancies, favorite candy meaning. really you name it, I was all over finding out more about what that meant about who I was, although rarely insightful for more than a minute, I truly did not like some of the things that I found out.

Octobers birthstone was opal. Opal, unlike almost every other birthstone opal has no clarity, it also doesn’t really have a set color. you can’t cut them to bring out some sort of pretty diamond looking shine, instead they mostly just looked white with flecks of whatever in them.

luckily for me, the gods shined down and also gave us tourmaline, with it’s pretty shiny pinkness I found something I could get behind.

however as time goes on, life changes and somehow I find myself not wanting to flashy things I once coveted.

as wonderful as clarity is, there’s nothing you aren’t seeing, no hidden surface, it’s the same every time you look at it. with an opal, it’s colors change depending on how you look at it, it can have one tone shine out at any given time or angle, the lack of clarity although different from other gems, lends well to smooth designs, letting it’s natural beauty shine through, to me in the place I am now, that type of stone is prefereable to sparkly pink.

what about you guys? favorite stone? funny thoughts on whatever sorting hat the world has ever placed on you? let me know in the comments!!

It’s been a while.

What this year has taught me so far.

that this journey you call life only stops if you decide to stop learning, growing and improving. what I thought was my best doesn’t hold a candle to what I’m capable of. that although you hear it a million times from a million places unless you’re charged up you can never be your best self to others.
I have a feeling that I’m going to look back fondly on this year in the future. In January I made a few new years resolutions with the complete intent on keeping one of them in particular, read 52 books in a year, I’m not going to lie and say I always kept up, there was a patch there around week 10 when I let myself fall behind a bit. but deciding to do something, and not following through doesn’t get you anywhere in life and I had the whole year to complete it. I stepped up my game, found books that were real page-turners, found random different times of the day that worked and stuck to those appointments like there was a cancelation fee if I didn’t make it to them, I’m proud to say I’m in the 40’s for books read this year so far I feel pretty confident that I’ll exceed my goal.

Do what you know you need to do for you!

I finally got braces. living the past 15 odd years knowing I needed them but not getting them, I bit the bullet, left myself no time to cancel putting them on. yes a 30-year-old with braces, you know what? instead of feeling like an old person with them, they make me look and feel younger, I get mistaken for a college kid again! finally finding it in myself to give myself the type of care I wouldn’t take a second to think on if it was my son is something so wonderful to do for yourself and I’m so glad I did it.
If you book it, it will happen.
If you want vacations, if you want staycations, if you want weekly massages, Book It! find a way to make it work, but for the love of whatever you hold dear just make it something tangible, go over your budget and figure out what seems reasonable and put down a piece of ink and a nonrefundable reservation somewhere. trust me, even if it’s only a 50 dollar ticket to some museum or roller coaster place in another state. having that anchor will make the rest of whatever your plan comes into place.

Try the miracle morning challenge.

I’m on day 78 right now and it’s been such a game changer in my life in so many ways, I could honestly write a book about it. one of the awesome benefits of reading books is discovering all these absolutely stunning people that show that you can do anything you set your mind to and hand out tools to get you there!

Stop listening to the lies you tell yourself.

I don’t care where they came from, those words you tell yourself are affirmations, they can be good ones, or they can be negative ones. either way, they will be true, so don’t let yourself be stuck in a rut because of moments that stick with your from the not so bright parts of your past. if you need a new one, remember that you are worth it, you are trying, you are a capable person and the only thing that’s holding you back right now is a thought stuck in your mind.

Sick Day

Today I get to stay home with my little as he lays on the couch due to a bout of a stomach bug this morning.

This has given me time to think about what this year really means to me, this year I decided to focus on Cultivating, on learning and extending myself, and that has brought me to finding my dream.

I can’t say I knew it all for certain but I knew what brought me joy before now, and as I get older I’ve decided there’s no point focusing on things that aren’t my passion.

Today I have to say that I have a dream, a dream that people don’t have to feel the need to separate themselves or divide themselves. A dream where all people care about themselves and focus on healing themselves and the enviroment.

A dream where single use plastics and factory farming are a thing of a misguided past. A dream where the fact that someone has a weapon isn’t an issue because we have worked through our own issues and don’t feel the need to hurt others.

A dream where schools only concern is sparking a love of learning in our children instead of worry over children passing arbitrary tests so they can have enough budget to cover hand sanitizer next quarter.

A dream where people don’t have to worry about treatment when they are sick. A dream where people take care of each other and work together. A dream where the word neighbor actually means something.

A dream where people unite to find the best way to move forward as a people. A dream where people find a place and way to have non violent confrontations when words need to be said.

A dream where people are free and welcome to love each other, a dream where people can live their authentic live so long as they follow the standards of not hurting others and contributing to the greater good as they are able to.

A dream where being ill mentally or physically doesn’t shun one from being able to contribute their light in this world.

A dream where people can feel safe. A dream where we can actually prosper when others succeed instead of having to take from each other.

If I knew all the answers as to how one would go about all of this The world would be a better place, but instead I’ve realized there’s only one thing I can do today, and thats to show love to all and try to live my dream, I hope by living my dream I can watch it spread to others around me, and maybe just maybe, if enough people try to live this dream, I’ll see these changes start to happen in my lifetime.

Rewards

Being on the right track and getting goals done is amazing! s\So tiring but so wonderful at the same time!

In about a week I’ll be heading out on another wondeful trip with my dear friend and our boys! so excited to get out of town and see some amazing new sites! more soon!